I am the loveless beast

Becoming more and more withdrawn and alienating. Starting to feel like a Radiohead song... Faint eerie background with a rushed heartbeat, all narrated by Thom Yorke's unmistakable wail. From drunkenly roaming dark city streets to short-term self imprisonment, I feel like a loveless beast that people abhor, with good reasons.

posted from Bloggeroid

Something About Mondays...

Contemplation... About the speed of time as I age... About what I'm becoming (and what I haven't)... About the "observation" that white girls with naturally black hair seem to have a higher degree of "diva" than those without... About today's music generally sucking the ass of that which I heard growing up... About the temperature difference between my living room and my porch... About my evolution from a "boobs guy" to an "ass man" (one is far harder to fake than the other and I'm all for natural beauty)... About the fact that a majority of my posts come on Monday... About the rancid smell of stale cat urine... About seeing a new shade of color, simply by having a zen moment with nature... About finding a better purpose for Mondays than sitting around and pissing and moaning about them.

Happy Monday

posted from Bloggeroid

Disclaimer:

The two earlier posts are not any indication of my current state of mind... They do however reflect a point-in-time of mine, so they do deserve a place in my "therapy session".

With that said, I'd be lying if I claimed I haven't posted any recent updates due to being "cured". Far from it, but have come to the realization that there is no fix for "life". It's been more of a gradual development of a comprehensive emotional toolbox that I'm sure many of my peers have attained and have been more than willing to let me borrow from in the past, but were of no use until I figured how to acknowledge and utilize them.

In the aim of keeping this post concise, yet introspective, I'll finish with the following:

No destination
My hand riding waves of wind
I'll know once I'm there

posted from Bloggeroid

cost of delay

1989's film "Do the Right Thing" was/is one of my favorite films. I feel it captures the daily turmoil that was experienced by those living in the general vicinity of HATE, SUFFERING, and RACISM and those who continually choose to see our country as a place where a son/daughter of a "citizen" can BE ALL THEY WANT TO BE. THE MOVIE starts with Mookie who is portrayed as a synopsis of all that's good and bad (pre-marital sex, economical settlement, repressed capability), yet decides it's worthy to carry on.

Fuck

Holed up in a self-imposed cell

Living life like I'm bound to see hell

Beige Nightmare

Here I sit, broken hearted
Tried to think, but quietly farted
The putrid scent wafted
And whispers ensued
Pssst… Who would do that
Shhh… maybe he’ll hear you
mmmph… I strain to contain
my hopes and prayers
that everyone around me
Chokes on my anal vapors

I recollect last night’s dream
To overtake the thought of work
A terrorist attack worthy of CNN
Initiated by accident
Accentuated by sleep
Trying to avoid the degeneration
Of a slow corporate demise
Most will crash and burn
While few feign success
I’m found guilty of being content

tacos for lunch

i had tacos for lunch today
during the aftermath i thought
i'm contemplating quitting
packing it in and moving on
I'm sure friends will question
the basis for such action
without being superficial
i base my reasons in reasoning
employment has become confiment
and my days are stripped of enjoyment
with that said and done
it's time to consider change

when production comes in hiccups
and time stops more than it starts
i yearn for the next bomb threat
to disrupt the mind-numbing flow
thirty minute restroom recluse
sixty minute mid-day