Forgotten...

This blogging is serious business. nuff said. When you've had umpteen jimmies in your buisness, you lose track of time. With resolutions and daily fodder out of the way, I guess it's time we get down to the core of being a lady of the night.

Like y'all, I get tired of the same ole, same ole; however I also know that said same ole keeps the lights on. With that said, I have managed to keep some flexibility in this day on-day off schedule. When I'm not getting stuffed with various cream fillings, you can find me online or cuddled up with a good read. I rarely venture outside, since I've got all night to do so. On the rare occasion I've got a day "john", I'm apt to get the job done quicker to get home to my sanctuary and away from y'all.

To be frank, I really don't enjoy my fellow humans and can do without you for the most part. This "most part" not consisting of my moms, pops and my sis. They help me keep the wagon from ridin' on 2 wheels vs. 4. While you've all (people in general) managed to destroy trust, humanity, compassion, and faith in some way or another (w/ bias I'm sure); these individuals have risen above the dust (or kept my ire at bay) to maintain some sort of semblance that allows me reason to continue hope in family.

My mother comes first because she got me to this position (life, liberty and pursuit of happiness... blah, blah). My father (save for being a sperm donor) has shown me that with all life's ills, there is still reason to smile. My sis fills in the gaps and shows me what's possible when I make use of what I have.

With all that said, I've learned that family can be a burden or a buoy... keeping us back or keeping us afloat. Nothing more or nothing less. Finding the balance has been a chore for the past 32 years. Just when I think I've found that balance that keeps me from sinking, I find myself gasping and vice versa (fangs visible and drooling). Moms drops wisdom or opinion and I play my hand. Last year, this resulted in a stalemate and took me to checkmate to get a response. Pops will always take the check to make sure I've got firm footing. Sis is the average and question mark. When I think I've got shit maintained and locked up, one of the three drops the hammer and puts me on to see what I've learned. Over-confidence typically prevails and I end up sucking hind-tail to get back to square one.

When I look at my spot on the playing field today, I know that it's only a move away from checkmate... yours or mine. Keep me engaged knowing I've got some chance to prevail and an equal amount of chance to fail. Spectators practice silence and participants utilize will. This game is life and this life will...